SPM is in less than two weeks. Nobody's gonna be able to help me if I don't make an effort myself. When I tell people, I don't expect anyone to understand but it's not like I've never tried to pull myself together, really. So, to those of you who offered advice, thank you, but it's not doing me any good.
I really wish I can go back to being whoever I was. If this was the price, it's not worth paying. It was a hell of a lifetime experience, but it's just not worth it.
I'm so lost myself that I don't know where to go, or where to even begin. It's like an outer force has invaded my brain, my heart, whatever. I don't feel myelf anymore. I feel like there's a stranger living me.
Blogging is not gonna help much, but at least it's something. I really wish I can give up sometimes. I feel like I'm snapping.
And at the end of this blog post, nobody is going to believe me still. I know.
