Tuesday, August 11, 2009

im scared.. i really am

as if i'd actually chipped in as much as i wished, and considered winning double its magnitude.
i've been so, very, super, extremely, immensely, utterly bothered, all through my absence here, in blogger.

i apologize once more, and to get over with, sorry (:

and i literally thought i could clash off mountains and skip over bumps along the way, without an inspiring source.
at least, i was highly sparked up then, to evoke such inane thoughts.
now, it seems vague, and even more, when the clouds set in.

ahh.. im getting metaphoric again.
and metaphorical thinking pulls me in, deep.

i think, experimentally, it has pulled me in, gravitationally deeper than what it is meant to. deeper in view, deeper inside.. and thus, forming a deeper SM..
isnt a chasm large enough? :p


trials are, since i'd last mention it here, in days already. the count of weeks stroked off the count of months, which would, in time, be stroked off by the count of hours. i'm afraid of it. im so utterly afraid..

having half the expectations from everyone, not only do i feel the stress, i taste the frustration. devastation has emerged as a new vizard of SM, depression consumed a considerably large part of faith.

nerding failed me again, for being too stressed because im not stressed up.
doesnt make much sense?

i cant help it.
i shall term it examination stroke.
for i'd lost ability of constructing figuratively cool sentences.

sorry SM, i've wasted days and weeks of life getting frustrated over exams.
and threw packs and packs of time away into the waste, for allowing time to seep in to reap enthusiastically sucked-up moments.

generally, i suck as a student.

"and now i've come so far, i dont want to let go"
 

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