"I thought I saw love and care in the shine of your eyes, but in the end, it was just the reflection of mine."
Dear Enamel,
In case you see a sadist writing this post, I don't carved on myself. So fine, I'm no emo, I'm no sadist.
3 months ago, we were still pretty tight. You being the usual energy boost, having all the faith in me in that very special month, when you thought the most of me. I loved it. I love the graduated teddy, I love every little thing you did, including thanking me for every little thing I did.
2 months ago, you left in such a hurry that I couldn't squeeze a tear out for you. I was not ready to accept the hurting fact. I'm a coward, I don't face reality, I hide. It was hard for me, feeling the air around me without an energetic boost, the sufficing oxygen content seem like it's not enough. It was hard for you, not because I wasn't there, it's because of the environment. You told me there won't be another SM, I believed you, and I got so stoked.
A month ago, I came over to say hi. You were caught in such a surprise, while I stood amusingly watching you radiate that bit of childishness in you. It makes me smile. We hung out for hours, not wanting to leave but had to for time didn't permit. You told me you wanted to adopt me as your kid and asked me if that tells me anything. Well, it tells me everything that I need and want to know.
But now,
I'm afraid I would lose you.
I'm afraid that it isn't the usual sensitivity in my mind that's causing all these faded delusions. I have a feeling it's real.
I wonder if there'll ever be a day when you and I would stop the SMS-es.
I wonder if there'll ever be a day when you and I even lose contact in Facebook.
I wonder if there'll ever be a day when you would stop reading my Superstar posts.
And, I wonder if there'll ever be a day when you and I would stumble across one another's profile and wonder who it is..
If you'd ever read this, forget it.
I'm speechless.
As much love as always,
Me.
