
It suddenly struck me when I was having a conversation with someone who really means a lot to me. I don't know if it's the horror of the truth, or the power of the words, but it made my heart sank. Real deep.
She said: What if that randomness never happens again?
I said: Then I'll live with memories.
She said: You sure?
I said: If it really doesn't happen again, I'll HAVE to.
I don't know why, but it just diverged off our main stream and we ended up on a winding road that leads to that point. I wish we didn't actually go there in the first place.
If I lose you, I'd cry and cry my lungs off even if I know that it wouldn't be of any use, and I may not even be anyone significant who is worth acknowledging, no matter how much you tell me you do.
If I lose you, the memories that we have had together would play in my mind like a silent film, on a loop at every second, watching me drown myself in misery.
If I lose you, I'd try to pretend like I don't feel anything at all, because I know you wouldn't want it to fall like a rainstorm on me when I know deep inside, tears are flowing out like a flooded river.
But to be honest, living with memories is three big, bold and scary words which require a hell lot of courage to say out. I did, because I know I will, even if I know brainwashing myself hurts less.
No matter what happens, I will never forget that one great year that we've had together.
Don't think, KNOW it.