and what exactly is it that i get in return?
letdowns.. and more of them?
i dont need that.
i am beginning to fear time more than i usually do - which i only do, provisionally, as exam draws close. but now, i think i fear time, simply because im afraid of the dismay the next seconds might cost.
life has just gone harder.. because i tried to make it simpler, for me to comprehend, with such a tiny brain to fit and interpret my inane thoughts.
roller coaster really do remind me of you now. how often does the mood switches to more than a 360 degree rotation, it's way beyond those digits. it's like a sudden drop from the earth poles to a desert. and i just dont like it. similarly, you wouldnt like it too.
your mind has transformed too much through the pass few months, through your absence and perhaps you have a new perception. but it's too incomprehensible that i cant tumble to it.
the thoughts gasping on the rear side of that vizard has gone too vague for simple interpretations, for interpretations my mind could read. all it does now, is to display assumptions and guesses, to often lead me to frustration.. all over again..
i restrain myself from thinking too much these days. to avoid frequent mood drainage again, to refract my easily distracted mind back into the books, keeping my tracks still and balanced. but i cant do it any longer. even my energy booster failed me, how'd u expect me to hold on?
i cant.
and i meant it.
i live with memories, to shield lonely, sappy time of the day when i would emo.
i live with memories, to remind myself i once had them.
i live with memories, to convince myself that you're just busy..
i live with more memories,
to retain that chance of making them the future again.
you have no idea how much just a syllable from you could change me, energy level or brain-works. trust me, you just dont.
cause if you do.. you wouldnt act this way.
"everyday's another first, another chance for me to fall in love with you"
