Replay?

So I'm stuck with printed pictures and silent films in my head.

I miss NOSE.

So does everyone else :)

I miss getting emails from my Japanese friend.

I miss getting emails from the Japanese Sensei(s).

I miss being overly stressed out and excited over Wednesday.

I miss playing charades and speaking the most ridiculous Mandarin I ever had.

But all there is, is the NOSE fever that everyone is left with.

I wish there is a replay button.

Just breathe

Yeah, keep that in mind.

I'm so tied up, so much that my vessels are entangled.

I've not no time to even breathe..

I hate chances so I catch them.

It's not in every second that you'd get that second chance, so when you're offered the first, seize that opportunity :) and let loose the risk of wishing it'd come again.

I did, which is why, I am currently the happiest kid in the universe.

I really love what I do.

I'll share it soon when it's ready :D

Love me;

I had a friend..

One time, I was really close to this person. I mean, like almost glued close. We text almost everyday, aside walking along almost every corridor together in school. And then, she left.

When she did, it was strange to face the vacant hallways alone.

And even weirder when her name doesn't appear at the top of my inbox history.

It hurts when every time my phone rings and I'd expect a message from her, but it's not. It's like every colour shed into grey. The world seems dark and suddenly it's like all we went through was nothing.

Very strangely, I've been getting messages from you lately, almost daily.

But now, it's such an amazing thing to receive a text message from you. It's like God's gift :) Like I see a shine of light from above; and a halo on your head.

What I'm trying to say is that, getting a message from you daily was like a routine, but it makes me so happy now that it is a routine; Vice versa, being ignored used to hurt so much that I don't see the point in moving on till now, it's nothing.

Everything has 2 sides.

I just don't know which side you're on :)

I smiled.

Blogging somehow seem like I found another home. A less solid, and more boundless home.

Life is a strange game.

Or maybe I'm just weird.

It's funny how someone you don't really know could make you feel so happy knowing that they are online, and you're not even talking to that person. It's nice to know that that person is free to go online, to take a break and so on..

And, it's so strange that I really want to be like her.

I'm a follower, because I'm dozed by her greatness. Now I sound like some hypnotized stalker. Don't I?

However that sound like to you, it sounds great to me :)

When every syllable count.

I'm banging my head against the wall, screaming HEY HO :)Or need I not?

I tried, I climbed, I fell. I scraped my skin. I chipped a nail. I wounded my mind.

I tried figuring things out. I tried asking myself if I did right. I tried believing.

But sometimes, when you put on your shining armor and give me the battle glare, I'm all up for it, although beneath my shell is where a lump of soft melted touch lies. I hate it that you think I'm small and your work is big. I hate seeing goodbyes at the end of every one of your text.

But so what?

I still climb back up, step into that hole and fall all over again.

But when you actually said, "You're too much on my mind", it doesn't really make a whole lot of difference. It just twisted my vessels, inferring that I still believe you.

And that's the best or worst part of life :)

Fried-Day.

So, so much for having an impressive day on Thursday, and so much for me wanting to wind that clock, I wouldn't, because Friday took my breathe away. And I don't mean it figuratively, I meant it literally. I almost died.

Maybe D.I.E. is a big word.

It may be small in my context, but big just for that moment.

I could almost feel like throwing up and really giddy for some reason. Some people just don't seem to understand and know the meaning of respect. And already losing my voice, I had to shout repeatedly at the top of my very frail lungs.

To be honest, they should be happy I didn't throw up on their faces. I had a very valid reason for that.. pfft.

I'd go back in time.

Some think I'm out of my mind when I re-committed myself to YE again, knowing very well the fact that I am overage. Yes, overage in the sense that, I'm 17 (or assumed 17) and YE is for the 16s; Some think my enthusiasm is a lil overboard, so much that I still take YE seriously, though my time has passed; And some think that I have no better work to load all my time up.

The real truth is, I wish I could go back in time and actually realised myself that I want to be a part of YE and that I could give all I have all throughout the entire amazing experience. I mean, it's quite believable that it's amazing :)

And yes, to be frank, I was a part of YE because of peer influence and if it wasn't for my buddies wanting to join, I wouldn't have been in it. But at the end of the day, it wasn't as I thought it'd be and now it's almost, i say, almost at the top of my priority list.

Nothing's ever too late.

Like me :D Now that I'm 'over-age', I stick around to help :)

Giving them what we did not get.

Ya'll will do great :D

The clock strikes again.

That is simply what I concocted. It's like a prick in the head when the school bell rings, pounding on the edge of my head - recess is over.

Recess is like a nightmare that decodes everyday's chaos. That's too blimp for a contrast, I know. But with all the be-punctual-for-classes, for the game of SPM that I'm gamed for; or that I should be, I need to force every little tasks in that 20 absurd minutes, with no random, unforeseen matters (including a casual stop-by chat).

Well if there is unexpected happenings - random people showing up with multiple motions; technology rebelling against humanity - I'm done.

It's not like it's a flak. I love what I do :) But sometimes, trying to keep up with everything requires a bit more energy than I thought. I shall eat more veggie, that'll help :D

Leave the veggie aside,

I'm just trying to say,

Sometimes, in life, you need to learn to let go :)

Now, that's a revolution.

Blogging is when my brain is traumatized and when I need a clearance outpour for it. It's got too much junk. And I'm sleepy. And it's 3.36 at noon :/

But wouldn't this mean everyone is going through a hard time, having tonne-loads of stuff weighing above their head, or rather the other proportion of it of having too much free time doing absolutely nothing.

I'm stuck, I'd want to be unproductively lazy, but I'd also like the responsibility entrusted. It's all good :) When you turn nocturnal and turn the entire story the wrong side down. That's more of a 'life' that you choose.

So kids, if you haven't ever tried living a 'dark' life alone, try it. It feels king :)

Meat Pie.

I'm caught in between two, like the meat in the sandwich in between the cheese, just sticky like that. BM proverbs might come in applicable now - ditelan mati ibu, diluah mati bapa.

I agree that when you commit yourself to a promise, you have to hold on to it. And if temptations won over conscience, there is a certain value of morale that you'd need to cough out. But if looking at the sphere at one point of view, what about the capsized?

In between the truth and the lies, one may never judge right. It's a risk, whichever you choose to trust. Life is all about taking risks, i know.. But when you want to game it this way, don't leave me held in between.

Whoever You Want To Be, Just Be.

Meeting up with a friend after two years is like a social feat :) I never believed much in today's unplanned hangout, but it unfolded so perfectly into the best day ever.

Spending hours rambling all over Mid Valley was bare but wicked :D I knew you for almost 4 years now, and this is the first of many more times to come, so keep your gags up your sleeves. That one day shall come in no time, at all.

And now, I wish I could kill those hours all over again, don't you? :)

At this time tomorrow, you'd probably be in the boundaries of no where, on your way home.

I just miss you so.

Fresh.

So I'm back to this sealed box that I never wanted to free. But I realised that it's time to face the fact. I'm starting afresh :) Fresher than those? No?

Although once this ranting space was filled with comments and leaping blog stats, it's almost void now. Not void of updates, but void of live. It doesn't really matter to me anymore. I never intended to write an open book when I began, until somehow, somewhat, someone flipped that page open.

And I'm heading to the bottom line again, who's concern anyway?

I figured if the blogging mojo began for the thrills two years ago, I guess it should be revived again for the presupposed blast this year.

After all, it's my last schooling year. Every moment is worth recording :)