Sing-A-Long-Song

Our mental development has a limit. Some people's limit is too low. But you can't leave up those who has never grown in their mentality in the last few decades.. So, happy new year everyone! :)

Slug Mode

Credits

I'm feeling sluggish again.

Everything is falling down on me like a thunderstorm again, and that's bad. I thought I have just managed to throw everything off my back and start living normal again. Life always presents you with its challenges, and I hate it.

Today marks the end of the second last day of school, to welcome a 3 to 4 week-break. I'm excited. After all, it has been a while since I legitimately slack without needing to provide a reason for anyone, including myself, as to why I am not working. Hello there, holidays! :D

And, this morning. The most unexpected thing happened. In the last 4 years, she has never done it before, but she gave me a good morning text today, and said that today is PMR Results day (which I don't really care actually).. But somehow, it reminded me of all those times that we've spent together on my PMR Results day.

Oh well. Time flies. Everything is different now...

Stone cold warmth.

So I spent most of my Physics class playing QWOP today, yet still failing miserably but attempting continuously until now. It's frustrating really when you can't make an animated game character run even more than 10m easily, whereas in reality, it's such a piece of cake. Ahh well, my patience needs some training, so I guess it's a good practice for me :)

This withdrawal thing is killing me slowly.
I woke up this morning feeling so weighed down and bothered by how I feel. I guess writing that book to fill it up will take my mind off things a little. It's quite a brilliant idea and I must say you there, my friend is a genius!

Yesterday someone asked me if my handwriting was still the same as it was a few years ago, and I said no, but deep inside me, I was thinking, well yeah actually it is if I put in some effort when I'm writing. But as I begin writing yesterday on the same book, the contrast was so big that I cannot deny that it's no longer the same.

And this brings me to think that, you know, it's just as how I have changed. I am no longer the same person I was 4 years ago. I used to be so different and all that I have been through in these years have stripped me off my naivety and general trust for everything. It stripped me of the most basic sincerity of human nature.

It's the same analogy.
But I'm glad I changed. Being stone-cold isn't that bad :)

Reviving O'nine.

Sometimes, some feelings that you have once felt in the past don't just die off. They don't just fade off like worn clothes. The magnitude of the emotions that I am feeling now actually scares me, after reviving some of these close memories that are actually so far off.

Somehow, I feel that there was a wall, but just a thin one. Maybe I just haven't gotten use to it yet. Or maybe, I'm just seeking attention that I'm feeling this way.. I confuse myself with my own emotions.. But I must say that I hate bringing upon emotions on myself and later struggle to get them off me.

Hey, I'm glad you're all well, and that you're still the same as you were. I wish I never left, and I wish I had been there when you might have needed me. Although I may not play such a big role anymore like I use to four years ago, I still hope to be by your side to be there for you at times of low. 

Anyway, it was a brilliant day today! Had a simple but awesome lunch session and a relaxing and calming night. Sometimes, I love these kind of space that I create for myself.

I am one who needs lots of space on my own before I suffocate in the presence of all others.
I think it's an odd personality, but hello there introvert :)

At the end of the rope; I'm back.

Credits

Oh look, I'm back here again, after straying away for more than a year already. 

The last time I was here I was still the old me, dramatising every little drop of emotion that I feel into lengthy blog posts that conveys the same message in a loop de loop. I wish I could still do that really, but I've change. Growing up has robbed me of that ability, but when I re-read my old blog posts last night, I really wish that I could still express as I used to. 

I wish I was still so optimistic about things and can blog as expressively as I want to. 
I wish I was less defensive over things and people that I love.
I wish I could open up a little more of the real me.

Actually, what I really wish for the most is to rip of the mask that I wear everyday and that character that I play. 


Set me free. 
I'm back baby...