As I type the letters to the title that I have given to this post, I realised it has been exactly 10 years since the beginning of this venting space. It started as a narcissistic outlet, where I would pretend to declare my love to the one I love, hoping she would read it. It then transformed into a whole lot of anger and finally I left it here to wilt, with the occasional watering in the last few years.
Do I value this space? Yes, I do very much actually. I had a little freak out just a couple of days ago when I couldn't even remember the name of my own blog.
Why don't I write here anymore then? It could be because I just have more to hide now. As years past, the layers of dust that shields your core from the brutality of reality increase in thickness. And perhaps, just perhaps, I've allowed myself to hide under the skin that I've perfected in playing.
...Or maybe I'm just a little less narcissistic.
But doesn't saying this make me a narcissist somewhat?
Observe the thought pattern above. Unlike a bunch of colliding atoms, freely moving without a direction, my thoughts are collision directed. I set them out as targets for my proceeding thoughts to collide against. Is this what I do in life? Who really knows any answers right?
Okay, I'm rambling.
Signing off,
An extremely disturbed mind.
Monday, January 22, 2018
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