JUST. LET. GO.

Today I learnt that letting go is probably the best way out.

When you go through something and when you really feel the urge of doing something, it's really important how you weigh your priorities. If you act to much with your feelings, you'd probably be able to satisfy the urge of that time, but have you ever though if your act that once will ever affect your future?

I thank God I did not.

For one, I was too much of a thinker. I think too much before I act. Which, now, I know, brings me good :D

And, now, I've learnt to let go. It's probably the best way out. Only do something when you feel that you should and that it causes the least damage. I'm waiting for the right time. And I think I've decided on the best.

So dear bloggers and dear readers, take my experience as an example for your future decisions. I hope it helps :)

It's ALL My Fault

And today I wanted to say, when you did something that you really regret, it's your fault.

Just like when I decided to do what I did on Friday and Saturday, it's my fault that it all happened, it's my fault that I made you noticed me, and it's my fault that you still catch my attention so much.

And when I clicked into that picture just now, it's my fault that I stared at it a little longer, it's my fault that I thought of what Elisa said this morning, it's my fault that I had to let my mind run and it's my fault that my heart even sunk.

It shouldn't have.

For all I have now for you, is plain rationale of awe and nothing more. I'm old enough to know what's wrong and what's right. I know I need to let go.

So DO IT SM Chan.

Stop saying it, empty words don't count.

I'm Making An Effort, So Give Me A Chance

Just a message to everyone. Think before you act.

Cause somethings that you've done in the past cannot be erased and it shall live as a black mark in your life.

No matter how well you have moved on, or you think you have moved on, it remains. You know it just as well and you know if you don't make an effort to scrub that black mark off, it will linger in your forever and haunt you till the very end of eternity.

Whether or not it involves anyone or just anything at all, just take a deep breathe, step up and apologize or just clarify whatever that you think you should. Because trust me, it will make you open up and get out of that box you've been hiding in.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

All I need is a chance.

So dear God, please help me pull through this :)

I'm Gonna Be Open Bout The Title : MCM

Hey world :)

I just came back from Music Con Brio 2011 and 'twas brilliant!

Everyone would probably be rejoicing now, so am I, but I can't help but to lose myself again in the deep sea of mysterious looks and spiteful rumours. As much as I wish you'd remember me, it was awkward when I don't know if you're looking at me when you turn.

I know I'm being really paranoid everytime your eyes just gaze over to that direction of the hall. It may not be me, it may be someone else. But I'm afraid that it makes you uncomfortable that you know of my presence.

I was dumb and stupid 3 years back. But little did you know, the girl who strayed away from you has changed so much since. I am now who I am and I am no longer that creep who fantasize about being like you.

I wish they didn't tell you anything about it, I wish you never knew. But although I never got the confirmation, I know you knew.

Just tell me if you wish to. Anything.

Just don't make this worse.

Although we have hardly spoken more than 10 times.

Now The White Is Black

It's strange to say. I have a lot of friends going up and down, passing me by, but none of them ever stopped to ponder why. I thought there was. Once it felt real true, but now, every one.. every single one of them walked past, saw a shield of insecurity and left it hanging there.

Today is such a bad day.

It started by giving me a terrible tummy ache that follows the early morning tummy cramp. It's bad. And I thought when the day actually begin it'd be better. But hell, no.

Sleep has been such a desperation today. I got waken up, for inevitable school routine. It just probably made me a little unhappy. But I never expected it to become something so bad. I lost it.

School has always been a happy place - a home for joy and laughter, but today, it's scarier than home. It's like I'm hopping between both worlds where one is black and the other is white. The dark side is like a nightmare haunting me in the day.. and the white usually, is the only part of life where things seem neutral.

But today, it's gone.

Even the day has gone dark and the people surrounding me now seem like monsters trying to rip me apart.

I'm such a mess.

Who do you think you are?

Have you never thought why I leave my things everywhere and forget to bring the right things back for school?

Have you never thought why in the first place, I even bring my things all around?

Have you never thought that you were the one who started it?

I don't mind if you comprehend, if you understand what I feel and what I thought. But you don't, you think I'm impossible, I'm a crazy batch who doesn't care about anything. I'm not, because all you see is a facade that I thought you'd know me enough to break through.

It tears me down to know that you don't care. Those silent tears I cry behind your back, next to you in the passenger's seat, behind you as you walk in front of me and the teardrops that fell on your keyboard as I'm typing this, you never knew whenever I did. Because, you never saw how much I hurt.

And it hurts more when your cold, bare words pricked through my shattering heart as you text with your phone to who we both know is, with words warmer than the fireplace.

I am not a sinner, so I don't know one.

But I know you're stepping deeper and deeper into transforming to one.

Help.