What Is Wrong With The World?

I am at rage.

Warning: This post is not directed to anyone in particular (although it is, it isn't entirely that person's fault) but that is all I could take before I explode (which I already have).

I hate to hurt other people's feelings, but sorry, I am at rage. And there isn't anyone or any wall that I could punch right now. So dear bloggers, your eardrums shall be the ones that will vibrate at its maximum frequency for I shall scream at it right now, as you imagine me doing it with these piercing words I type. And this blog shall be the wall where I punch and carve these utterly senseless words onto.

Hiii-yaaah! *karate dropkicks*

Things never work. I don't intend to take any charge at all, and when I let loose, things NEVER work. I am not intimidating, no. If you know what I'm talking about, I'm just really ABSOLUTELY mad.

When you make plans, you confirm it and you tell your friends it's settled, you don't text someone at 11.00pm to cancel plans of the day after. I have a driver, yes but that does not mean, I am free all the time to go anywhere in the world. I have made my plans and yes, I HAVE. And you have no idea how much I'd gone through to save a day off my very busy holidays plan. I stay up to finish the things that I needed to do tomorrow, just to spare a day.

I. AM. BUSY.

That's the bottom line. We had a great time working together, yes and I loved every single one of you, but loving someone has a limit too. .

And now, plans are cancelled. JUST CANCELLED.

How brilliant can this get?

I HAVE DONE SO MUCH TO LET TODAY WORK AND IT'S CANCELLED AN HOUR BEFORE THE DAY ARRIVES. HOW CAN I NOT GET MAD?

I have feelings too

And the best part is, you want to postpone it to the next day.

So please don't expect me to go through all that within 24 hours, to rearrange my plans, and my dad's plans included because we have a schedule to follow to make sure our times don't clash with wherever the driver is going. You're lucky you have someone to send you everywhere all the time. I don't.

I never liked saying anything harsh or make anyone feel awkward, but this is me. I tolerate, I get to a point and I explode. Just like BOOM. Don't think that just because I joke around and I am senseless enough to be pushed around.

A whole lot more revolves behind my insane image of a happy child with the simplest thinking. Beware D:

Lavigne Fever !

I've been Youtube roaming and I found this pretty awesome video that I never knew. And oh my, such a shocking surprise :D

That little spongebob up there probably gave you some hint already?

Yeah, it's spongebob-related.. And judging by the fact that it's got punked red 'hair' and the fact that I am an currently head over heels into Avril Lavigne's music, you're guessing it right.

Check it:

Partying, partying, yeah !

I guess I made my first move to live like a rockstar at the karaoke yesterday. I had such a good day :) The karaoke session was just what I need to kick off my holidays - we sang; we screamed; we danced; we partied. It was hell good.

Then the arcade session was unbeatable. We were ranked 34th in the shooting game. I never actually knew what the game was called, but if you're an arcade junkie, you'd know. It's in a cubicle-car like structure and you shoot huge, giant bugs and slimy creatures. Got it? No? Play it then.. And hehh, beat it.

Well today was good too. I'm deprived and will be deprived of the guitar for a few days, till Wednesday. I'm feeling like there's insufficient oxygen. But well, patience is virtue :) I know.

Just wanted to say that sometimes, when you see people, just random people, being helpless and fretting over something that may seem really petty to you, it could mean something big to them. So stop by, and help. It doesn't matter how much you can help, just ask. That's all that person may ever need.

Someday, step out of your selfishness, and look around.

The world needs you too.

Avril Lavigne Inspired.

So cute and bright as my previous blog design and description was, life has totally been ruled by Avril Lavigne for the past few days, and probably a few months more.

My current blog design and theme is proudly, Avril Lavigne inspired :)

Like it?

Goodbye Lullaby

As obvious as it is, I AM AVRIL LAVIGNE OBSESSED.

And thinking back, the last time I was as crazy as this was 4 years back when The Best Damn Thing was still the hit. And I lost all the vibe.

BUT, her new album is REALLY really good. No, she didn't pay me to say that :p

It's an entirely different style from what she usually write. The non-related songs are still there like What The Hell and Smile, but the rest of the album is filled with personal feelings, really cool songs like Wish You Were Here and Remember When and everything else.

Trust me, when I actually spend 60 bucks to buy an album that I've already downloaded, it must be good :) Cause when I come across a really good album, I HAVE TO OWN IT :D (even if I've downloaded it) I'm weird :)

It's 1.15 am.

I'm rocking to Avril Lavigne and going crazy :D

You've got to also check out Avril's awesomeness:

Sleep? Pfft..

But that isn't the reason why I am not sleeping at night.

I remember how I used to stay awake until just seconds before the sun rises. I used to win over sleep, and own it. But that, was 2 years ago. I guess it's taking a u-turn on me now :) I'm living it again.

And I love it so.

You know how when you smell a scent, watch a similar memory replay in reality or do the same thing that you used to do with someone, suddenly reminds you of it? It actually makes things seem more solid. Like, there are memories at least, because sometimes everything seem like it's only an illusion. Delusion maybe.

So I'm awake.

Because I wanted to feel it again. I miss blogging like how I thought someone I wanted to, would read it. I really missed it. I'm weird.

(and also probably because add math is technically tomorrow, and I'm not even close to Pythagoras's mentality)

Oh well.

Yeah, It's Us Against The World..

There goes another video :)

The video count in my Youtube is shooting up, I've been really addicted to the guitar, although I can hardly play more than a few chords and 2 or 3 different strum patterns. Hehh D:

I hope you'll smile as you listen closely to the lyrics and think of all that we've been through together, cause it's been a great deal. And we're still as we used to be, or even better, although we are both very busy in our own world and hardly ever get the chance to have a good chat like old times.

I miss how things used to be and sometimes I can't help but to let loose of the tear in my eye watching those days play like a silent film in my head. But I am also very grateful for whatever that's happening right now.

And it makes me even happier knowing that I messed up the dates, that it's supposed to be on the 16th a month easier. Because it shows me that you actually remember it :)

Love :)

It's Bieber Fever :)

I guess from certain parts you could hear that I'm having a flu. Despite that and the on-going exams, I needed a break and I got super addicted to the song all over again :)

So here it goes.

PS: SORRY, the last part is kinda messy D:

Stop Doing That

Sorry dear iPhone, I let you down.

Your heart shattered, and your screen cracked.

I'm sorry.

I was clicking around in Facebook and stumbled upon your profile. My fingers itched to press into it. I did. And it brought me to a whole new stage of having a bad day.

You told me that I was the only one, who would have done all that and gone through so much for you, when I barely actually know you. You told me you wouldn't be able to find another me in that new environment that you're at right now.

But what did you do?

You asked someone if it's because she likes you, or your style of working. It isn't much of a question but I'm just a little too sensitive and i feel pricked. Very painfully pricked.

It's okay. It's not like it's the first time you treat me so coldly and act so warm on FB.

I'm used to your style.

PS: Don't judge who 'you' is.

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As much as I love pouring emoness into this blog. It is now pretty drenched with it already.

So I guess it's enough?

Hmm, I haven't much to say though.

But I've promised someone I'd post this.

Check out my friend's blog;

www.justifiedmercy.blogspot.com

He's William Soo :)

Ring-A-Ding-A-Ding

I feel my heart breaking open, to allow an awful rush of tears, deep down in that cut that was once scarred through my heart - as I read bits and random scraps of our text messages and my completely selfish perceptions about us in my very, very old blog posts. I wish real tears could run down my cheeks, it'd save more of the pain.

To think that I was even feeling uneasy with your daily absence around me, now it's like a perpetual prick in my ears saying that it's an absence in life.

I don't miss seeing you around, because I got used to hollowness of the empty hallways; I don't miss your text messages anymore, because I got used to seeing your name drop lower and lower in my inbox each day; I don't miss hearing you call my name anymore, because I'm not even surprised that you can't remember what I'm called.

But did you know, I have an extraordinary memory for what I shouldn't remember. And yeah, that includes every moment I spent with you.

I really wish I could transform into that naive, i-don't-really-care-about-what's-going-on-in-life girl. I wish, like you said, I have never met you.

Because you were right,

It wouldn't have been this hard for me if I never knew you.

Breaking Down

I woke up this morning having a bad dream, though I wouldn't actually call it a nightmare. Because it's a bad dream that I'd rather have in reality. Rather than having to find the right chance to say out loud what I've got to say.

I feel that everything is breaking down. People who were once so close to me are straying so far away that sometimes I wish when they look back, they'd at least catch a glimpse of me. And the people who were once so unfamiliar to me, are those who are standing right beside me now.

What happened?

You used to give me all the chills that you want to, even if you know that it's too much for me to take. But I did. I took it right there and never gave up on you. I thought you needed a break, and I even spaced a break, but now it doesn't seem to be working like old times anymore. You've probably changed, and realised that I am actually replaceable. No longer, the only one you've met..

Another you used to care so much for me, making sure everything is fine. No doubt, I don't deny or doubt that you know that I am vulnerable like this. But it also isn't really you to be acting this way. I don't know what happened between us. Not the slightest idea. But I know something is different.

Let's just say, those who are reading this are those that are left with me in this battle that I'm still fighting.